World Breastfeeding Week

World Breastfeeding Week has just ended, launching Breastfeeding Awareness month. For many, this is a time of celebration, camaraderie, or just extra activities. But for many women, this week serves as a reminder of a failure, a source of guilt, or even a type of judgement. These are the women I would like to address today. You have many different stories. All of you, for one reason or another, fed/feed your babies formula. You may have tried to breastfeed, but encountered innumerable problems. Maybe you had to return to work. Maybe you got sick. Maybe you sought help but were turned away or couldn't find it. For one reason or another, you were not able to nurse your child. I have heard from many moms in these situations that they feel disparaged, guilty, or left out of all of the events of this month. Many have felt that they are being criticized or put down for choosing (for whatever reason) not to feed their child breastmilk.

For you, I'm sharing my story. One I seldom share in it's entirety, because I worry I will scare mothers away. For you I'm sharing why we have a month dedicated to education and awareness of the facts of breastfeeding. Because I've been in the position of the moms who have been in pain, and awake at night; who have had infections and blockages, supply problems and babies who have lost weight. While we fought and were able to continue, many women aren't.

When I gave birth to my son in 2012, he had a 'lazy' latch. He just didn't want to open his mouth, and would fall asleep quickly. However, he desired to suck constantly. So, we gave him a pacifier hoping he could sleep without waking every time he fell off the nipple. When my milk came in about 36 hours after his birth, he ate even more greedily than he did the first day. By the end of the second day, I was sore, and my nipples were red. They tested his suction, and he was fine. By the next night I had cracks and was bleeding enough for my skin to stick to my bra. I had also shot up 5 cup sizes. I was given nipple shields for nursing, and a separate one to keep the fabric of my bra off of my nipples, as well as to help them 'pop' out more, as they were semi flat. Milk would drip out of the non-used nipple and collect in these shields while I nursed my son. The night nurse came in the fourth night, and told me I had given my tiny son nipple confusion, and that's why he couldn't latch correctly. She then told me I should 'just pump', and feed him that way. When I refused, she became indignant, and stressed her experience and 'facts'. I called her back four hours later and handed her a small plastic cup full of milk. She applauded me for expressing some. Her shock was very satisfying when I corrected her that this was just drippings, more than 4 oz, from two feeds. A lactation consultant came in the next morning, diagnosed me with oversupply, and warned strongly me NOT to pump so as not to cause exacerbate the problem. I was finally sent home with papers explaining the condition (I had a C-section, and the benefit of a longer hospital stay).

My pain continued at home. It didn't seem possible for my cup size to get bigger, but they did. I stretched out a 3X nursing sleep bra until it more resembled a string/triangle bikini or a tent. My husband could no longer appreciate the boost, instead he was horrified at the expansion. The nursing nipple shields would pop off mid-feed, and get stuck to his nose (I tossed them quickly). I could get no answers on how to manage this condition from my paperwork, the lactation department, or my OB. I began developing friction blisters on the side from my sons desperation to latch on my rapidly increasing, granite-feeling breasts. I discovered block feeding*, and cabbage compresses**, along with some other things from cousin. These saved us for a while, but it never became 'easy'. It took two months just to regulate my supply down to no more pain. I was able to finally take a deep breath.

It was short lived. When he was about five months, the blockages began. At first it was one here, and then another there, easily remedied by nursing or expressing as much as possible. They soon increased. No longer just one, but both breasts would have 3-5 blocks apiece at all times, complete with nipple blisters that would prevent the milk from draining. No amount of nursing would suffice. I started cycling fevers, which would break when I finally ripped the blisters open and allowed them to drain. My OB sent me to my primary stating I wasn't under their 'jurisdiction' any longer. My primary never had a patient who exclusively breastfed. She didn't know what to do. They gave me an antibiotic, which did nothing. I asked that they check, again, for a lip or tongue tie. "Nothing's there," they said. I started taking supplements, and block and dangle feeding to get relief. I received a breakthrough, and the blocks decreased, but I still continued to have 1-2 continuously for the next six months. Amazingly, my son did not get his front teeth until 14 months. When his teeth popped in, we saw something amazing! His frenulum, which had been deemed 'normal' by all professionals, stretched down his upper gums, through his tiny teeth buds, and onto the roof of his mouth. Too late to get it fixed, it was deemed the reason behind so many problems.

I am stubborn, and quite a geek. I love research, and hate to be told what to do. So many people not told me to quit, so of course I couldn't. Even so, I came very close. I had given myself two days to see the pain stop, and it was in the final 24 hours when things suddenly improved. But I had to search, and search, and search some more to find answers and solutions. Other friends? Not nearly so lucky. They experienced massive infections, pain, abscesses, and more. They quit, and I can't blame them, and have even envied them. I have permanent scars across my breasts, which closer resemble a force-flex trash bag than they do mammary glands. I'm still nursing my son at almost three years, and having a very hard time weaning. Part of it is from an almost defiant sense of success. We made it.

My physicians, nurses, and even lactation departments failed me, and my friends. Breastmilk has been proven benefits over formula. Yet doctors, bosses, businesses, family members, etc inhibit, criticize, and discourage moms from being successful. There is no education on how to manage supply, heal mastitis, treat lip and/or tongue ties (especially minor ones), or even on appropriate medications to give the nursing mother (which, by the way, is most).  Unless it becomes common, then medical professionals will never be forced to learn proper interventions for supporting the breastfeeding mom. This is why World Breastfeeding Week exists. Not to condemn or judge mother's who have given up, or chosen to bottle feed. Not to put breastfeeding mothers on a pedestal. No. World Breastfeeding Week is to help prevent other mothers from going through what you went through. What I went through. It is to allow other women to become successful, and skip the difficulties or tragedies that you experienced. It is to spare another mother the pain and guilt that you went through.

Who wouldn't support that?





Notes:
*Block feeding is to nurse a baby one one side, say your right breast, until it is fully emptied instead of switching sides mid-feed. When I started block feeding, it took 18 hours of every 1 1/2 hour feeds to empty one side. This dropped to every other feed I could switch, but never more frequent than that until now.
**Cabbage compresses have been used for many years to help dry a mother's supply. Since it was so hard for me to find out how to actually use a cabbage compress, I will spell it out here. You take a full cabbage leaf, or two, and use it to line your bra. To diminish oversupply, three 20-minute sessions are recommended per day (I did one hour sessions). To dry up supply entirely (without medication), you keep them in until they become soggy/limp/wilted, and then put new ones in until your milk has stopped.